"Years of quiet signs, one night of crisis & the beginning of a complete life redesign"
It started with pain. Not the kind of pain you ignore. Not the kind you “wait out.”
The kind that that stops everything and leaves no room for denial.
A Friday night, though time was blurred. No sleep
We tried the doctor’s rooms first… no answers, no relief.
Within an hour, we were in casualty at the hospital.
That was the first visit
The second came after the catheter was removed…. in hindsight, a serious misjudgment.
The relief was short lived, and we found ourselves right back where we started.
By the third visit, it was no longer just urgent… it was critical.
And suddenly everything changed.
What had been managed quietly for years…..pushing aside, adjusting to, normalizing.
Was impossible to ignore
In that moment, there was no more ‘we’ll deal with it later.”
There was only now!
It Started at the End of March
That Friday night was the turning point, but it didnt come out of nowhere.
By early Saturday morning, we were at the doctor’s rooms. He could not help and immediately referred us to the casualty department
at the hospital in town.
At the hospital, they could not admit him. There were no beds available, and no urologist on call
But they inserted a catheter – the relief was immediate.
In that moment, it felt like the crisis had passed
Monday : A Decision That Set Us Back
By Monday, we returned to casualty, where Jean asked for the catheter to be removed.
In hindsight it was not the right decison.
That night, everything returned – worse than before.
The pain was more intense and we were back to where we had started.
This time with a deeper sense that something was seriously wrong.
Tuesday : The Turning Point
The next morning we managed to make contact with a urologist’s rooms – no appointments available any time soon.
We were advised to get to the hospital casualty unit in the city, as late as possible
By midday, I knew we couldn’t wait.
I called again and informed them I was taking him through .
The traffic opened up like the Red Sea and we moved through with ease, getting him to hospital in good time.
His blood pressure was at 220/120 – dangerously high.
The pain was severe
That Night - Trusting the Decision
As the day went on, the urologist had not managed to see him, being in surgery with a full schedule.
Bloods were taken, ECG done, antibiotics and drips.
By sunset. I made the decision to leave him at the hospital…against the wishes of the doctor on call in casualty.
They eventually moved him to a ward at midnight.
Looking back, that decision mattered
What Was Really Going On
Once admitted, the full picture began to emerge
There was :
- A serious infection
- an enlarged prostrate with a high PSA count
- High blood pressure
- Elevated blood sugar levels
This led to a diagnosis of Type 2 Diabetes
Three Nights In Hospital
Jean remained in hospital for three nights. Test after test after test
There was concern.
Infection markers continued to rise and the doctor could not understand why?
I felt strongly that healing was not only going to happen in a hospital bed.
I persuaded the doctor to allow him home for the Easter weekend
If anything untoward were to happen, we both understood he would go back to the hospital
Home : Where Healing Began
We made a decision early on:
He is not “a sick man.” He is a man adjusting his life
The kids were visiting … there was support, conversation, encouragement.
Exactly the loving, supportive environment, I knew would do more for him than a clinical ward
The conversation revolved around the necessary changes in nutrition, hydration, exercise and mindset
It was no longer optional….Step by step, it was discussed and implemented
Because the identity we hold shapes how we move forward.
The redesign of our lives had already begun
The Biopsy
After the Easter weekend, we booked the biopsy for a week’s time
This brought it’s own emotional weight – this wasn’t just physical.
Past experiences surfaced. Old fears. Memories that had not been forgotten,
Years earlier, a biopsy had left a lasting impact, affecting confidence and intimacy,
leaving behind it a quiet sense of vulnerability.
It shaped decisions and created resistance.
And behind that, an even deeper story – both his father and brother had faced prostrate cancer.
Their journeys’ were difficult and their quality of life declined.
Those memories stayed with him and this moment carried weight
Driving to the hospital in the dark, I found myself wondering where this was all leading.
An Unexpected Discovery
During the procedure, something extraordinary was found.
Hundreds of kidney stones, formed in the kidneys and passed into the bladder, had accumulated. These were removed.
The doctor later said he had never seen anything like it.
It was shocking.
But also relieving.
Something that had been silently building for years had finally been addressed
A New Rhythm of Life
Jean returned home the same day….but life was no longer the same.
Our days became slower, more intentional, more aware.
At the centre of it all is our faith.
A firm belief in God with daily prayer and meditation together with gratitude for our blessings.
Because it could have been far worse.
And yet ; he is not in pain, does not feel unwell.
His words to his girls “I have an incredible sense of calm in my heart and soul.”
We see that as grace.
Where We Are Now
We are in a space of waiting….
Waiting for results ; waiting for clarity.
BUT.. not waiting in fear.
We are adjusting, learning, changing how we live.
We are redesigning life at home.
What This Has Taught Me
The signs were there
We just didn’t act soon enough
Frequent bathroom visits.
Small changes.
Things that became “normal.”
They weren’t.
This Is Just the Beginning
We are no longer ignoring the signs.
We are listening.
We are learning to respond differently.
And we are redesigning our life—at home, together.
If This Feels Familiar
If you are noticing changes in someone you love…
If something feels “not quite right”…
Don’t ignore it.
Start the conversation.
Sometimes the body whispers for years… before it finally demands to be heard
Coming Next
In Part 2, I’ll share what happens next—once we have the results, and how this journey has opened a path to helping other women understand the signs, navigate the emotions, and find practical ways to support the men in their lives.